Posted by: axp | May 19, 2013

What happens when kids in the playground ask “Where’s their mum?”

Ralph and I went to the local playground this morning and put the kids in toddler swings next to these two girls who were chatting. I started pushing the twins as Alice mumbled “Papa, papa, papa” under her breath. Alice then pointed at Ralph who was a little way off and shouted “Daddy!”.

The girl in black was a little confused (but not shy), and our conversation went like this.

Girl in Black: “Where’s their mum?”
Me: “They don’t have a mum, they have two dads.”
Girl in Black: “Are they adopted?”
Me: “Sort of. They had a surrogate.”
Girl in Green: “I know what a surrogate is. I have two mums. They used a guy from a sperm farm who wanted to help my mums but didn’t want to have more kids.”

Not even a millisecond passed.

Girl in Black: “Are they twins?”
Me: “Yep. A boy and a girl; Tom and Alice.”
Girl in Black: “Oh my god that is SO EXCITING! They’re like Rebecca and Cecil from “Spy Kids 4″, have you seen that film? She loves playing pranks but he doesn’t like pranks, he’s more serious and …”

They then spent the next half hour pushing the kids down the slide.

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Posted by: axp | May 10, 2013

Celebrating Grandmother’s Day

Our kids go to childcare three days a week, and they love it. There’s new people to meet, fun games to play, new things to learn and lots of mess to make that we can avoid at home!

Every day there’s a piece of craft to bring home. Here’s something they made a couple weeks ago which is proudly on the fridge.

Childcare Craft

Childcare Craft

Ralph brought the kids home from childcare today and I went through their bags thinking there might be something for Mother’s Day this weekend, but nothing!

Ralph and I agree that Mother’s Day should be as important for Tom & Alice as it is for every other kid; except for them, they’re celebrating all Mothers. That might be a little too broad, so in particular it’s all about their Grandmothers. It’s Grandmothers Day (or Nonna and Nan Day), and on Sunday they’re both coming over for lunch.

The only problem is we forgot to tell childcare that we embrace Mother’s Day. They were probably trying to not hurt our feelings by bringing home an ‘insensitive’ Mothers Day card … but I wish they had. Now I have to lay down the newspaper, pull out the paint and make something myself!

Happy Grandmother’s Day to all the Nonna’s and Nan’s out there.

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Posted by: axp | April 27, 2013

Why You Should Move to Australia to Raise Your Kids

I received an email today that inspired me to write this post. The email said:

Hi Ralph, Adrian and the twins!
Greetings from Boston – I just wanted to quickly send you both a note to say hi, tell you that your family is adorable and to ask you a question if I may. My husband and I, like you two, are a two dad family – we went the private adoption route here in the US and our kids are now 3 and 1…we were there at both their births! I’m originally from Melbourne but have been living the in the US for just over 15 years and my husband is a Yank, who after last week’s events here in Boston, is seriously considering what I’ve been telling him for a while….that us moving to Australia is something we should consider. So, what’s it like for a two dad family in Melbourne these days? Are there many families like ours? No one bats an eyelid here in Massachusetts or really any other part of the US we’ve traveled to (the nice parts, not the crazy parts). We are coming down to Melbourne in January to visit family (first time with the kiddos) so I’m hoping to get a sense of what it’s like then as well but just wanted to perhaps ready myself of how it’s going to be.
Many thanks!
Cheers, J

Firstly, the events of Boston have been shocking, and my thoughts are with those affected. I also think the recent events in Congress have been equally shocking, where reasonable laws to tighten gun control have not passed. It concerns me that people who are in control think that what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown (plus the countless massacres that proceeded it) doesn’t warrant a change to laws and attitudes.

So J my friend, it’s time to move to Australia! Here are 5 reasons.

Move Australia1. There aren’t many Crazies
Australian’s are pretty laid back. I think it’s because we have 10% of the population of America in a country the same size. We still have the extremists and fundamentalists, just not enough in a concentrated enough area for them to make much of an impact (with the exception of the Australian Christian Lobby who still stick their nose in everyone else’s business). It means that the mainstream voices of the masses aren’t drowned out. Of course, the sensationalism still happens on TV and in newspapers (Rupert Murdoch is an Australian remember!) but it doesn’t seem to go overboard. Everyone seems to protest in amounts that you’d want to see in an active democracy.
Read More…

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Posted by: axp | October 21, 2012

How Do I Choose An Indian Surrogacy Agency?

There are many agencies you can choose from to assist you through your surrogacy journey, but make sure you do as much research as possible before you sign up. Over the past couple years I’ve heard many stories about how people found agencies, how they evaluated them, and some unfortunate behaviour that is occurring. The purpose of this post is to help you make an informed choice about who to work with to make the journey as successful as possible.

So where do you start in making sure you have all the right information to decide? Here are the Top 4 things I think you need to consider when making a choice.

1. Recommendations from Friends
By far the most useful way to select a prospective Agency is through referral from a friend or someone you trust. If you know people who have used an agency, and they can vouch that they are able to do a great job, then that is going to be your best bet in narrowing down the field of prospective agencies. We were fortunate in that we knew about 10 people who had gone before us which enabled us to narrow down the field to about three choices. That certainly helped a lot because we knew that these agencies were reputable.

Be careful if an agency only has one referral from a friend. You want an agency with a track record of referrals to make sure they make the short list.
Read More…

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Posted by: axp | December 12, 2011

Our Six Month Birthday

We ate pumpkin to celebrate our 6 month birthday

Today the kids celebrated their six-month birthday, and I thought it an opportune time to reflect on the incredible journey we have all had since they arrived.

I think it’s fair to say that our kids are the most adorable children in the world. Seriously. They are cute and happy and smiley and full of hugs, and we consider ourselves the luckiest parents in the world. And we’ve certainly learnt a lot in our first six-months.

The thing that impresses on me the most is how great Ralph is. He is the one staying at home and spending all his time with the kids while I go to work. It’s a bloody hard job what he does. He spends practically all day every day with them, he settles them, deals with them crying and invariably is the one who spends more time indoors and alone. And he does this with barely a complaint and simply gets the job down with as much fun and love as he can. The reality is that I simply couldn’t do this. I’m just not as patient or nurturing. I don’t feel bad about that, I’m just grateful that Ralph can do the things I can’t. It’s wonderfully unexpected that it’s our differences that make us such a great unit now that the pressure is really on. Before the kids little difference seemed like reasons for concern, but now I’m so pleased for them.
Read More…

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Posted by: axp | November 28, 2011

Gay Dads Forum A Huge Success

A couple weeks ago I spoke to a forum of over 80 guys (and a couple women!) who are interested in going down the same path that Ralph and I have gone down. It was wonderful to meet so many prospective fathers and to share our journey. It’s heart warming to know that we’re able to pass on the advice that we received for others to follow.

If you’re interested in becoming a dad and want more information, you can click here for a guide on where to start. It’s just a checklist of a few steps to start your journey.

Gay Dads Australia has a great round up of the Gay Dads Forum. Make sure to sign up to hear about the next one.

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Posted by: axp | September 20, 2011

Teach Your Children Perspective


Today I saw this wonderfully thought-provoking video from Indian artist Raghava KK. It’s about the importance of teaching children about different perspectives, which he has brought to life through a new iPad book. It’s under 5 mins and well worth a watch.

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